Bean there, done that

Due to technical difficulties (stupid Internet), I had to post this blog from work. I know you were worried. Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Just when you thought people couldn’t get any stupider, you read stories like this.

A New Jersey mom is on a quest to become the world’s fattest woman.

She is consuming like 12,000 calories a day and moving as little as possible to achieve this feat.

She weighs about 600 pounds but hopes to double that in two years.

I’m all for having goals, but come on.

The part that sickened me (even more than the fact that she makes money from men who pay to watch her eat fast food -- no lie) is that she is a mom. She says “chasing” her young daughter around burns more calories than she would like.

Hey, whatever she wants to do to herself, that’s fine.

But I suspect that poor little girl is gonna be heartbroken in a matter of a few years when her mom is dead all because she was an idiot.

Ah, well. Let’s talk about beans.

Beans, beans, good for your heart … but not so great in brownies.

On Sunday, my husband baked brownies made out of black beans (pictured).

They were, umm, interesting.

For taste, I’d give them a B-, but for texture I’d give them a D.

No matter how many ways I tried to trick myself, I couldn’t ignore the fact that it felt like I was eating really chocolaty beans.

On the plus side, it’s the first time brownies have ever lasted three days in our house.

If you so desire, here’s the recipe:

(From the Kitchen of Rocco DiSpirito)


Ingredients


Nonstick cooking spray
1½ cups canned black beans, rinsed and drained
½ cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tablespoon espresso powder
¾ cup egg substitute
2 tablespoons low-calorie sugar-free chocolate syrup, such as Walden Farms
2 tablespoons reduced-fat sour cream, such as Breakstone's
1 tablespoon unsalted butter, melted
24 packets (84 g) Truvia or 8 tablespoons granulated Splenda
1 teaspoon vanilla extract


Directions


Preheat the oven to 350°F. Spray an 8×8-inch glass baking dish with cooking spray.


Combine the beans, cocoa powder, espresso powder, and egg substitute in the bowl of a food processor. Process until the mixture is smooth, about 2 minutes, scraping down the bowl halfway through.


Add the chocolate syrup, sour cream, butter, Truvia, and vanilla. Process until all of the ingredients are combined, about 1 minute.


Pour the batter into the prepared baking dish, and smooth the top with a spatula. Bake for 28 to 30 minutes, turning the dish halfway through the baking time. A toothpick inserted in the center will come out with soft batter clinging to it.


Let the brownies cool completely in the baking dish on a wire rack. Then cut into 12 squares and serve. Refrigerate any leftovers.


NOW YOU CAN EAT THIS!


Before, After


Fat 70g, 1.6g


Calories 1500, 53


Protein: 4g
Carbohydrates: 8g
Cholesterol: 4mg


Fiber: 3g
Sodium: 94mg