Adventures of the Elusive Herpes Eye

Dude. I've got The Herpes Eye. Again.

I know, I know. I usually only write here about weight loss. But there's been absolutely none of that going on, yet I'm itching to write (no pun intended).

My truths tend to be stranger than fiction, and my Herpes Eye is no exception. Plus, I think it's hilarious if past lovers Google "herpes" and my blog pops up. And so, I'll write.

(Grandma: If somehow you've magically gotten the Internet, there are no past lovers. It's just for comedic effect. Ha ha?)

[caption id="attachment_472418" align="alignright" width="360" caption="This is a form of The Herpes Eye. This picture is not mine, and this is not me. I don't have face blisters. And my eyebrows are better. A little."][/caption]

So, back to The Herpes Eye. And how I've got it. Again.

First things first: It's not what it sounds like. OK, it's exactly what it sounds like. But I'll go ahead and answer the question I've gotten for 15 years: No, my husband did not have "bad aim." That is not how you get it, Perv.

It all started in 1996-ish. I was in college, heading into finals week before Christmas break, and I got The Herpes Eye, more eloquently known as Herpetic Keratitis (Type I). It's the same virus that causes cold sores, but it attacked my eye.

This happens in relatively few people. I'm among the few. What an honor.

I'll spare you the details, but I almost lost my left eye. The light from even a TV was excruciating. I lost driving privileges for what seemed like forever. I was sent to Vanderbilt Hospital for fancy eyeball photographs and analysis. My cornea is scarred, and talk of a transplant still comes up from time to time.

I spent that Christmas break in agony and was hit with it again a few weeks later when I was trying to start my new classes while making up my missed finals in my old classes.

Ah, memories.

But after that second round, I had not had any recurrence of The Herpes Eye until this week. I caught it very early this time, and the cornea specialist says my virus "clusters" are not in my direct line of sight where my previous scarring is, so my vision likely won't be affected.

And thanks to some pretty expensive drops, I'm already relatively pain-free.

Oh yeah: The drops.

When I went to the doctor Tuesday morning, I was given a sample of Zirgan, a new eye gel that I later found out would cost me $120 (and the pharmacy would have to order it — remember, I'm in "the few").

So I called the doctor and asked for another sample to get me through until my next appointment, scheduled for Thursday. They told me they didn't have any more samples, but I could come back in that afternoon because the cornea specialist was now in, and she would write me a different prescription.

So on Wednesday afternoon, I was given a prescription for Viroptic. It's been around "for at least 20 years," the doc says, so cost and availability shouldn't be an issue.

I go back to the pharmacy, drop off the second prescription and am told it would indeed be cheaper — only $99 — but they've never heard of it and would have to order it.

What the eff — $99? So I call my husband and have him call our insurance company to see what the deal is. Turns out, each person in our family has a $100 annual deductible on medicine, and guess who hasn't had any prescriptions filled yet this year. That's right: This gal!

(OMG. This story is friggin' long. Is anyone still reading?)

So, I go back to Pharmacy #1 and tell them to give me back my prescription because I have like one drop left in the Zirgan sample and can't wait for a delivery the next day.

"Gurrrl, we gotta save that eyeball!" says the same pharmacy tech I've dealt with for two days. "Word," I say, taking back my prescription.

("Word?" I have no idea how that came out of my mouth.)

I drive across the street to Pharmacy #2 and hand them my prescription. "They don't have it across the street," I tell the pharmacist. "Well, I'm willing to bet we don't have it anywhere here in town either," he tells me.

"But this has been around for 20 years," I say. "Twenty years 40 years ago," he answers.

Oh my God, what does that even mean, I think. So, "Oh my God, what does that even mean?" I blurted out.

I could feel my pulse pounding in The Herpes Eye at this point.

"Oh wait! I found one," he says. It was a few miles away in Zilwaukee, so I grabbed my prescription again and flew out the door.

At Pharmacy #3, I handed her the prescription and tensed up as she gave that "What the hell is this?" look. "Another store already told me you have it," I said. She looked for a good five minutes before finally finding one last bottle in the back of a refrigerator.

"Well, I sure never heard of this," she said, quite obviously looking at my Herpes Eye, back down at the bottle, and back up at my Herpes Eye again.

"I'm one of only a few," I tell her, lifting my glasses and leaning in to give her a better look.

"What an honor," she says, stepping back a little.

Word.

My God, I'm a Warrior

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I had given up on it about a month ago. Well, I had given up on myself about a month ago.

That's when I decided I wasn't going to do the Warrior Dash.

I had signed up for this "mud-crawling, fire-leaping, extreme run from hell" back in January. At the time, I was a few weeks into a renewed commitment to weight loss and exercise. I was in a groove. I was winning. An adventure in which "warriors conquer extreme obstacles, push their limits and celebrate with kick-ass music, beer and warrior helmets" sounded right up my alley.

And then March hit.

I made the St. Patrick's Day 5K Walk in Bay City (my second 5K in the past year, in addition to the 5-mile Mackinac Bridge walk) the grand finale to a weight loss challenge between a co-worker and me. In the first three months of the year, I lost nearly 30 pounds (a total of around 50 since last year).

And then I stopped. Screechingly, if such a word exists.

I didn't start gaining weight, which is remarkably different from all other times in my life, including last year, but I did stop all weight loss efforts after three months, which seems to be my M.O. for some reason.

For three months, I have the dietary discipline of a devout nun and the training regimen of an NFL pre-seasoner. And then … nothing.

So, it was during this March-through-July period of, uh, maintenance (sure, we'll go with that) that I decided I must've been high when I registered for the Warrior Dash. There was no way I could scale walls, belly crawl under barbed wire and slosh through mud throughout a 5K in FREAKING JULY. I still can't run much without getting dangerously winded in any type of weather.

I decided I wasn't going to kill myself. Or even worse, embarrass myself.

And then Friday hit. Facebook friends started talking about their excitement, their nervousness, their giddiness about the next day's race. "The Craziest Frickin' Day of Your Life," organizers claim.

All around, there was Warrior Dash camaraderie. Pep talks. Smack talk.

And I felt like a loser.

I said as much in a status update, and my friends came to the rescue. They reassured me that they were nervous. They were out of shape. But they were going to try.

So would I.

I hit the Warrior Dash trail at 10:30 a.m. Saturday. I had heard one report of a broken leg near the fire jump. These things happen, I reasoned. Then about a mile into it, I moved to the side of the trail to let an emergency cart pass as it carried a woman on a stretcher, her leg and ankle in a makeshift brace.

A skinny woman. A woman in much better shape than I am. I trudged along, saying a little prayer now.

God answered my prayers right afterward when friends Tim and Ilona came up behind me, asking if I wanted company. A few minutes later, my pal Kristy yelled my name. She had decided to hold back and wait for me.

Any of the three of them could have finished a lot faster, left me in the mud. But they stayed beside me.

The four of us cheered each other through each of the 12 grueling obstacles. Together, we rolled over junked cars, climbed walls, jumped fire and trudged through mud that sucked at our shoes with amazing force. (I saw four abandoned shoes near my waist at one point. There had to be many more sunk deep near my feet.)

Of the dozen obstacles, I abandoned only one: The Great Warrior Wall. It was here that an ambulance was parked, lights on, as emergency personnel worked to hoist a Warrior on a gurney, her neck in a brace. I grabbed the rope and made it a good third of the way up, having promised myself that I would attempt every challenge.

Then I looked at the woman on the gurney, who obviously had fallen off the wall on the way up. My arms shook. I couldn't get sure-footed. I heard my heart pounding in my ears. And I looked back down at the woman on the gurney.

I accepted my limitations and went around.

I went on to finish the race in about an hour and a half. That is damn near the worst time I saw. I did nothing with grace. My friend Matt said my entry into the last obstacle, the "Muddy Mayhem," was the ugliest and most awkward he saw all day.

But I finished.

As I sat in the sun afterward, listening to music and celebrating with friends, I sipped a beer and looked around. Every single person there was smiling, most especially me.

For on this day that I was sure would kill me, I realized that for the first time in a long time, I felt alive.

Really, we're both winners

[caption id="attachment_472384" align="aligncenter" width="575" caption="Hey, who are those hotties? Oh yeah ... it's us!"][/caption]

Cue the music: "Weeee are the champions, my friiiennnnnds …"

And we'll keep on fighting to end?

Well, yes and no.

For me and Alan, this "fight" is over. I won our competition.

This morning, I was down 5 pounds from last week, bringing my weight loss in this competition to 28 pounds.

That also brings my total weight loss since last March to 52 pounds!

Alan went to a rip-roaring bachelor party and wedding in Phoenix over the weekend. He says he stayed on mainly a liquid diet all weekend, consuming about a month's worth of beer.

Yet somehow he stayed the same weight — 185 — with a total loss of 20 pounds since we started this rivalry Jan. 3. He was just 1 pound from winning. (Awww.)

He does look amazing.

Which is why I declare us both champions (though I still get the prize … hey, what's my prize?).

That fight 'til the end? It will go on — individually.

Alan says he wants to lose 15 more pounds, and I need to lose another 100.

Yes, really.

I have motivation. I am RUNNING the 5K Warrior Dash in July and, lord willing, the 10 Mile Crim in August.

On Sunday, I walked the 5K in Bay City. I'm proud to announce that my time was nearly 4 minutes faster than when I walked the 5K last August in Flint.

They're small steps, but they're adding up … to the tune of 52 pounds so far.

So Alan owes me … something. Especially beyond the doughnuts he had waiting on my desk at work this morning.

Any suggestions?

Standstills and jiggly bits

Holy weight loss standstill, Batman.

Despite the fact I finished nearly 3,000 calories under my weekly budget, my weight stayed exactly the same.

Here's looking at you, female cycle and water retention.

Alan lost 2.

That means I still have 5 to lose to win the competition, and he has 3.

I am really looking forward to a breakthrough this week. I will be working out all week to prepare for a 5K walk before the Bay City St. Patrick's Day parade on Sunday.

Alan, on the other hand, is leaving the state at the end of the week for a bachelor party and wedding.

I'm hoping it gives me the edge.

And edge I need. After I get through this 5K walk, I'm going to start training in earnest for this summer.

If you remember, I am doing the Warrior Dash in July, and then I plan to do the Crim. Yes, 10 miles. I'd like to sign up for the run so that I can run as much of it as I am able.

I've got a long few months ahead of me.

This morning during my 3 miles on the treadmill, I did something I've never done: I jogged the last quarter mile.

Oh my freakin' jiggly bits.

I FELT like I was going to die. However, I did not.

It's a teeny tiny start, but it's a start.

Have a good week.

In the homestretch

What a difference a week makes.

I feel like a completely different person from the whiner who posted here last week, and am grateful that all members of my family are on the mend after a week of illness.

As for weight loss, Alan and I are coming down to the wire, and we're still neck and neck (and any other cliches you'd like to insert here).

I stayed the same this week, keeping my weight loss since Jan. 3 at 23 pounds.

Alan lost 1 pound, bringing his total loss to 16 pounds.

Our competition is whoever loses 10 percent of our weight first wins. I have 5 pounds to go (for this competition), and so does Alan.

Neck and neck.

(And that also means if you know math, you know how much I weighed in January. Yikes. Forget it immediately or I'll keeeeel you.)

I must kick it back up a notch. I've done great with my food lately but have slacked off on exercise.

Tomorrow morning: Back to the gym.

Mom Card revoked

I'm writing this from the kitchen table. Usually I'd be on the couch, but this corner of the kitchen is really the only place in the house that doesn't make me want to cry right now.

Wow. I am such a baby who probably needs to turn in her Mom Card. But seriously.

The house, which I had shockingly kept in some bit of order lately, is again turned upside down in an amazingly symbolic homage to the health of my family for the past week.

It all started when my husband came down with the worst cough I've ever heard. He missed a few days of work last week and was finally diagnosed with bronchitis over the weekend. A steroid shot and inhaler have helped, but he still sounds bad.

By the end of last week, we got a call from daycare that our 2-year-old had barfed all over his favorite shirt: Popeye. Disaster on many levels. He has had violent diarrhea that continues even today, which comes with … all moms chime in here … violent diaper rash. Lovely.

By Sunday, I was down. I got my child's vomiting and diarrhea, but instead of my husband's chest cold, I got something new to the mix: a head cold. So in addition to running back and forth to the toilet for four days, I've felt like my head and face have been constantly squeezed in a vise.

My husband (whom I can not thank enough for taking care of us all while we've been sick) has returned to work and continued to heal, and my son appeared to be doing well except for the poops … until yesterday.

Yet another trip to MedExpress revealed yet another ear infection. Oh fun.

That calls for another antibiotic, which almost always leads to more violent diarrhea, which leads to … all moms chime in here … more violent diaper rash.

We got our son to sleep at a decent hour last night, only for him to wake up and want to lie on the couch with Daddy. He felt so bad, what do you do? You let him hang out on the couch.

What happened next can only be described as a Power Puke that left little untouched with mostly red juice, soaking our couch cushions, blankets, pillow and the 2-year-old himself. So at midnight, we were throwing the kid into the bathtub, blankets into the washer and we were deep cleaning couch cushions.

Good times.

That pretty much catches you up on why I didn't have a weigh-in report on Monday. My weight-loss pal Alan weighed, and he said he stayed the same — even after walking 10 miles the day before.

I also drug myself onto the scale Monday after one of those bathroom runs, and even after I was Poopy McPukesAlot, I had lost 1 pound.

I don't care. Not this week.

I just want us all to be well. I have such a greater appreciation for anyone who deals with a chronically ill child or family member after this past week. I couldn't handle it. I am weak.

And I am sitting in the corner of my kitchen trying to actually get some work done for a very understanding employer, wishing I was well enough to rejoin society, trying not to think about the condition of the house or the pain in my head, trying not look at the couch cushion that is still drying and trying not to cry.

It's not working so well.

We're shrinking

[caption id="attachment_472355" align="alignright" width="300" caption="I have no idea who this dude is."][/caption]

We now resume your regularly scheduled programming.

Sorry about the lack of updates last week. I didn't hear from Alan since he was dealing with a flat tire last Monday morning. Then every time I got around to posting, I'd get busy with something else.

Alan may have had a flat tire, but what he doesn't have is a spare tire. Since we started this weight loss challenge Jan. 3, he has lost a total of 15 pounds!

Me? Well, if you remember the last time I wrote, I had gained 2 pounds. That was two weeks ago, and I've since lost 9 pounds.

I can hardly believe it, but since Jan. 3, I am now down 22 pounds (and down 46 since last March)!

(I admittedly might still be a bit dehydrated from helping my friend Karen celebrate her 60th birthday Saturday. But I'll take it.)

I'll leave you with this today, posted recently by my friend Tammie: "If you keep focused on the future, you'll always have a clean slate."

It's great for anyone trying to make a positive change.

It's a brand-new week. What will you do with it?

Just what the doctor ordered

I got such a gift last night.

I had just walked into a funeral home visitation when I saw my dear friend Kristy and her boyfriend, Dr. Tony.

"Wow, girl, you look amazing!" Tony told me.

Or maybe it was "fabulous"? I just know it was an adjective I'd neither heard nor felt about myself in a very long time.

I so needed to hear that.

Tony hadn't seen me since last spring, when I first started this weight loss journey. I've had so many ups and downs since then that I honestly forget to stop and appreciate the fact that I've lost a total of nearly 40 pounds.

It's obvious to someone who hasn't seen me every day. And it meant the world that he noticed.

It was just the boost I needed this morning to get my butt out of bed and to the gym in the bitter cold (it's up to a sweltering 4 degrees as I write this).

If you notice something good about someone today, take the time to tell him or her.

It could make all the difference.

Not so super

Stupid Super Bowl.

Sometimes I am an example of what to do. Many times, I'm an example of what not to do.

This week I'm the latter.

Slacking on exercise all week and then overindulging on beer and delicious Super Bowl party foods the night before my weekly weigh-in? Not smart.

Alan, my weight-loss competitor, doesn't even like football, which points to two thoughts:

1) He had an obvious advantage going into this week.
2) I'm not sure how we're even friends.

So he lost 2 more pounds for the week, and I gained 2.

But the beauty of taking charge of your life means that each new day can be a brand-new start. And I chose to start this day with 3 miles on the treadmill.

I'm standing up, dusting off and moving forward.

Have a great week!

Goodbye, January

Weight is weird.

Last week, when I expected to have lost more, I lost 1 stupid pound.

This week, when the enjoyment of some delicious cheesy potatoes and ice cream on my annual scrapbooking retreat had me nervous … I am down 5 more pounds.

Alan sent me a photo of his naked feet (gasp!) on his scales this morning, and it looked to show just under 200.

So, for the month of January, Alan is down 5 to 6 pounds total, and I've lost 15.

Amazing.

When I can get caught up (yeah right), I'll write a little more than just a weigh-in report.

Until then, keep on keeping on ...

3 weeks down

[caption id="attachment_472326" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Alan says he is starting to feel ribs."][/caption]

Happy Monday.

We've wrapped up the third week of our 2011 slim-down.

Alan lost 3 more pounds, and I lost 1.

I was actually kind of surprised by that, but a loss is a loss, so I'll take it.

This week will be a bit more challenging. I am on my own with the 2-year-old for part of the week, as my husband is in Atlanta.

And my left knee is starting to tighten and retain some fluid. I'm hoping it will resolve on its own.

And on Friday, I leave for my annual hardcore scrapbooking retreat, which always involves lots of sitting and noshing. I'll try to use good sense.

Oh, and I've officially been off Diet Coke now for three weeks, too. I drink water, unsweet tea and even the occasional black coffee. (I feel so grown up.)

Alan notes that he is starting to feel his ribs.

Ah, ribs. Mine are in there somewhere. Near my so-called "abs," I suppose.

I shall continue my quest to find them ...

Are you a warrior?

Call me crazy.

("Misty, you so crazy!")

Since we were last here, I got in my 3 miles on the treadmill, made a slushy trip to the gym this morning, and oh yeah … I signed up for the July 30 Warrior Dash.

Seriously. Click the link. I've lost my mind.

When my friend Kristy posted that she and her boyfriend were doing The Dash just two days after my friend Karen had first told me about it, I took it as a message from God.

Or maybe it was just one of the many voices in my head.

Either way, I'm all signed up. Since committing to the "Craziest Frickin' Day of My Life," I've found all sorts of folks who will be there with me.

I'm hoping that out of Kristy and Tony, Kleen, Paul and Quinn, Ilona and Tim, and Liz, SOMEBODY will help me if I get stuck in an obstacle, or at least roll my body out of the way.

The race is 3.3 miles and includes these obstacles along the way (think "Survivor" challenges):

• The Junkyard Jump, a stampede through the scrap yard


• The Warrior Wall, a climb up and over a wooden barrier


• The Deadweight Drifter, what I call some of my ex-boyfriends, plus a trudge through waist-deep water and over logs


• The Chaotic Crossover, a crawl across tangled nets


• The Arachnophobia, a trip through tangled ropes


• The Slithering Swamp, a venture into unknown murky waters


• The Walk the Plank, a trip across the gully on wooden planks


• The Cargo Climb, a maneuver over cargo nets


• The Warrior Roast, a leap over fire (yes, really)


• Muddy Mayhem, a scramble beneath barbed wire in the mud

And the very best part is you get a warrior helmet and beer! There's live music and what looks like a giant party afterward.

I'm doing the 10:30 a.m. wave. Why don't you join me?

Worth the sacrifice

[caption id="attachment_472309" align="alignright" width="383" caption="Do you hear angels singing, too?"][/caption]

I'm feeling a little off-kilter today. Instead of getting on the treadmill before work this morning, I was snuggling with a very grumpy 2-year-old (who is usually asleep when I work out).

Now I'm grumpy because I have to get in my miles when I get home tonight, plus get groceries, plus my husband needs a haircut …

See? That's why I like to get my exercise in first thing in the morning, so I don't dread fitting it into The Juggle at night.

And those morning workouts are serving me well. I lost … well, wait. Let me tell you about my weekend.

I made my way through two parties on Saturday. The first stop had lots of finger-foody deliciousness.

The second had PIZZA, WINGS and BEER — The Holy Trinity.

I chose one. I'll let you assume which one.

At both parties, though, I did have mostly salad. I tried to be sensible. (Yes, me. Sensible.)

I kept telling myself, "Nothing here tastes as good as being thin will feel."

It paid off. When I weighed this morning, I had lost 5 pounds!

Alan, my weight loss competition, says he stayed exactly the same for the week, but he also weighed with his clothes on this morning. (Who does that?)

So, I direct your attention to the scoreboard:

Misty, (Week 1) 4 pounds + (Week 2) 5 pounds = 9 pounds so far.

Alan, (Week 1) 2 pounds + (Week 2) Who knows = Take Your Damn Clothes Off Next Week.

Carry on …

Rhythm and sole

[caption id="attachment_472300" align="alignright" width="295" caption="Brooks "Addiction 9" "][/caption]

I got my new shoes. Aren't they spiffy?

As I waited for the store owner to come back with my Brooks "Addiction 9" last night, I heard another clerk ask a very petite girl what width shoe she usually wears.

"I'm usually an E," she answered.

I looked up, our eyes met and we shared a nod that told me we were forever bonded in some kind of unspoken Freak Feet Club.

I took the new shoes for their inaugural workout at the gym this morning, and they did not disappoint.

Well, the girl behind me in a sort of evil torture exercise where you crawl from bag to bag and kick might disagree.

I kicked her in the nose.

But other than that … perfection. They even stayed on my feet during the dreaded mountain climbers exercise, during which my former shoes often slipped off my heel.

Of course, I would use that as a reason to stop and breathe, so I guess I won't have that excuse anymore.

Onward and upward ...

And … we're off!

Happy Monday. Where did that weekend go?

I'm off the treadmill and writing to report my (and Alan's) first official weigh-in of 2011.

Alan lost 2 for the week, and I lost 4.

(Scoreboard, Alan! Scoreboard!)

Nah, in all honesty, it is great having him beside me in this journey. Admittedly, his journey will be far shorter than mine.

Our "contest" is to see who can lose 10 percent of our weight fastest. Alan started this contest at 205, and I, well, am much higher.

So, he will win if he loses 21 pounds before I lose a number, well, higher.

One tool we're using is a free service called Lose It. There are free Lose It apps for the iPad and iPhone so you can easily and conveniently log all your food and keep track of your calories.

If you don't have an iPad or iPhone, you can just sign up and log everything right on the website. Again, it's FREE.

Recording my calories eaten vs. calories burned (yes, it takes those into account, too) has been eye-opening. (Measuring actual serving sizes has shown me I was eating way more than actual servings in most cases.)

Plus, Alan and I are "friends" on Lose It, so we can keep an eye on what the other has eaten throughout the day, etc.

There might even be a little trash-talking on there … if I were that sort of person. But of course, I'm not.

(Scoreboard, Alan! Scoreboard!)

Week 1 Wrap-up

[caption id="attachment_472286" align="alignright" width="189" caption="Don't use your noodle. Use spaghetti squash."][/caption]

Happy Friday!

We're wrapping up the first week of the new year, and I'm happy to say I've stayed on track so far. A few things I've learned this week:

• I can work out five mornings a week and not die.


• Meticulously documenting everything I put in my mouth is a daunting but necessary and eye-opening task.


• Spaghetti squash is absolutely delicious. Substitute it anywhere you'd normally use pasta. Do it.


• I can give up Diet Coke for at least five days and not die.

We'll see how everything is paying off when I weigh in Monday morning. Have a great weekend!

Gotta get the gear

Well, good morning!

A couple of observations since we were last here:

1. I need boxing gloves.

Not the pouffy, rounded, float-like-a-butterfly-sting-like-a-bee type I actually used in kickboxing classes 8-9 years ago, but the sleek ones all the cool kids are wearing like these pictured here.

With winter already beating the crap out of my hands, the bag work I did this morning in kickboxing class just added to it. I looked down at one point, and my knuckles were bleeding.

2. I officially have the weirdest feet of anyone you know.

This isn't too terribly surprising to me. I mean, I've had to live with the monstrosities my whole life.

But my freakishly high arches and astronomical width seemed to stun even the foot/shoe expert at the Runners store I went to last night.

I've been wanting to get fitted for really nice workout shoes for a while but decided to wait 'til I got my Christmas money.

The nice boy at the store meticulously measured my feet and and studied my "gait," a fancy word for watching how I walk.

And then he told me the words every gal wants to hear: "We'll have to special order yours. Most people are about a B width. You're an E."

Well, that's just super.

So, I'm gonna get some gloves and (in 5-10 days) some shoes for my freak feet.

Bloody knuckles and under-pronation be damned!

Happy New Year!

What's that you say? The new year started three days ago?

Ah. Well, since I've been on the road since Christmas Eve, I officially started 2011 and all the healthy intentions that come with it this morning.

But first, a quick look at 2010: I'm glad it's over.

There were some good things, and there were some bad things. The bad things really kicked my butt.

When the year was all said and done, I came out 24 pounds lighter than I started it.

It could've been worse, I guess, but I'm finally ready to kick it into high gear again. And I'm off to a good start: 3 miles on the treadmill this morning.

I'm gonna get a handle on my diet again, and here is my exercise goal: Treadmill at home before work on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and kickboxing at the gym before work on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Having to drag myself out into the dark, cold mornings two days a week doesn't seem as awful to me.

And I'm pushing myself hard to get in my workouts first thing in the morning for two reasons: I won't dread working out all day, and well, it makes me feel pretty good for the rest of the day.

Two new(ish) goals, resolutions, whatever you wanna call 'em: I'm giving up Diet Coke (and all pop, for that matter), and I'm really going to work on "finding my happy," as my friend Tammie says.

Anyone who knows me well knows the Diet Coke thing won't be easy for me. But it's time. I'm putting too many chemicals into my body that don't belong there.

(What's that? Touch my beer and I'll bite off your fingers. Pipe down.)

As for my "happy," I'm reading a book called "Women Food and God" (which I'll talk about again soon), and one thing is becoming clear(er) to me:

My weight is not my problem. My problems help cause my weight.

So here we are. The year 2011, and I am still struggling with some of the same shit I was struggling with in 1993.

I'm ready to be better in so many ways.

Who's with me?

Oh, and Alan: Game on.