"I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge."

-- Paula Poundstone

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Spare some change?

“To get something you’ve never had, you must do something you’ve never done.”

We’ve heard that so many times now that it almost sounds cliché, but have you ever really thought about it?

You have to change your norm. And change is damn hard. Change is scary. Change is unpredictable.

Change is inconvenient.

For me, change means the potential for failure, something I admittedly don’t deal with very well.

Back in college, my advisor asked if I thought I was a perfectionist. I chuckled and told her she should see my apartment.

Being a perfectionist had nothing to do with tidiness, she told me. Then she handed me a few pages to read about perfectionism.

I was floored. Everything on those pages described me perfectly (no pun intended).

Since then, I at least recognize why I behave the way I do, being a perfectionist, but I’m certainly not “cured.”

Perfectionism can be paralyzing.

In one of my first blogs, I mentioned that I had reserved this blog name a full year before I got up the courage to start trying to lose weight and write about it.

I didn’t want to do it until I thought I could do it right.

Sometimes perfectionism can be a good thing (it certainly always has helped me in my jobs), but often it is horrible.

I’ll be completely honest with you: I am terrified I’m not going to lose all the weight I need to lose.

Failure terrifies me.

Sure, Logical Misty chimes into my head and says that any weight loss is an improvement, that I’m getting healthier no matter how long it takes me, blah, blah, blah.

I try to breathe deeply and tell myself neat little quotes like “All experts started out as beginners,” “one step at a time,” etc.

But I’m all about honesty on this blog, and I hope that my honesty with my battles not only against my weight but against perfectionism can help those of you reading.

Now, not everyone who gives up trying to lose weight, quit smoking, whatever after a few days is a perfectionist. Sometimes, it’s just because change is hard.

I literally Googled “why is change so hard?” and this article popped up.

It talks about mindset, group support, procrastination, unrealistic goals and (eek!) baby steps.

Baby steps. The perfectionist’s nightmare. We tend to be all-or-nothing folks.

Sigh. Being trapped in my head is exhausting most days.

I have issues.

Ah well, I’m not perfect. Just a perfectionist.

Think perfectionism is holding you back? Check out this article for info.

1 comment:

  1. From "Why is change so hard" article: "People are better able to make changes in their lives - lose weight, quit smoking, become happy - when they do this with a large number of other people," he added. "Social networks have this interesting property of magnifying whatever they are seeded with, and so taking advantage of your social network ties can result in a magnification of your own efforts."

    Hmmm... You are doing that perfectly!!! :)