[caption id="attachment_472174" align="alignright" width="191" caption="Peace be with y'all."][/caption]
I should consult a calendar before I declare to the masses (all 14 of you) that I am going to start dieting and exercising again.
Did you know last week was Halloween? With buckets of candy plus a Halloween party? Plus two birthday parties? With CAKE?
So despite my near-death experiences at the gym, I managed to gain a pound for the week. Yes, gain.
I guess it would’ve been worse without the workouts, but sheesh.
Speaking of Halloween, wasn’t I just lovely as a nun?
Here’s how I chose that costume: “Hmm,” I thought as I perused the selections at the Halloween superstore. “What do we have here?
“Slutty, slutty, slutty, slutty, tarp-like.
“I’ll take this tarp-like nun costume, please.”
Next year, by God, I’m going slutty.
So, let’s talk about the rest of this year. Having now consulted that magical calendar, I see Thanksgiving is a mere three weeks away. And then there’s Christmas.
We’re entering mass noshing season, people.
It would be really easy for me to close up shop here and say it’s helpless and I’ll see you at the beginning of the year.
But I’m not doing that.
I’m still hitting the gym (I have witnesses), and I’m gonna be sensible about what I’m eating (once I detox from all this Halloween candy).
Having never been sane, I try to imagine what sane people do in these situations. And I’ve come to this conclusion (though a sane person can correct me if I’m wrong): They don’t look at the impending holidays as helpless situations.
They realize that we have a good three weeks until then to lose some weight, and then enjoy themselves at Thanksgiving. And then they’d get right back to kicking ass until Christmas, enjoy themselves then, and then get right back to kicking ass again.
So, that’s my plan. This is not helpless.
I can do it.